Maintaining ...

Well I’m back down two pounds and maintaining, so I’m happy with that achievement.  I know I’m not the only one with the goal of NOT gaining during the holidays.  Won’t be putting up a tree this year, so I’ll be satisfied with the wreath on the door.  Hubby goes in for his follow-up appointment on Monday.  I am so ready to shutdown mentally … I really need a break.       

Still not in the mood for ‘company’, but I’m trying to cheer myself up.  The weather was gorgeous today, so I did hop in the car with no real direction and turned up the music to ease my mind.  Somehow I ended up at Wally World and of course bumped into everyone under the sun.  One face in particular really made me smile, the conversation was wonderful, the hug was comforting and my spirit was lifted.
     

Times like these I wish my Mom were still here.

In All Things Give Thanks ...

It has been an emotional week for me.  Thanksgiving was kind of quiet, didn’t hear from either one of my children or my aunt.  My niece and sister-in-law did come from Maryland, so that was nice.  I’m not going to reach out to anyone, because I’m always the one reaching out.  I’m tired, my body is tired; I don’t feel well (but I have to suck it up and act like I feel well); my pain is not as bad as it was but it’s still there reminding that I’m not healing the way I was supposed to heal and then add in my hubby’s issues … I’m just done.  Began binge eating and was two (2) pounds heavier at my WW weigh-in.  This added to my mixed up emotions and I downed a bag of white cheddar popcorn.  I tracked it in my logs though and tracked anything else I let pass my lips.  By Saturday evening I was in between tears and not wanting to be bothered.  I felt a little better after my niece and SIL left.  We laughed and chatted for a few hours and even in those conversations I was constantly reminded of how ‘effed up’ my family is.  That led to more tears once I retreated to my secret place. 
Just wasn’t good company and made sure I didn’t take it out on hubby.  Because he wasn’t feeling up to anything I spent most of the day making sure he was okay (insert more secret tears here).  I know he’s going through a lot and I know he hates not being able to even do the little things he's used to doing.  He tries real hard to be a trooper and power through.  Didn’t help that Sunday was kind of dreary. (sigh) 
Some of my biggest obstacles this past week continue to be at home … and getting enough activity is still a challenge.   I will continue trying to increase my activity and move closer to my goal weight.  I really don’t feel better pain-wise, but I’ll continue on this journey and hope for the best.  

Every day is a new day. Never give up. 

Winding Down ...

Got all of my Saturday chores out of the way, but I was a little bummed all day after one of my sweet elephants sustained an injury ... hubby somehow managed to bump into it with his walker and knocked off one of the tusks.  Yeah, yeah ... I know ... it's only an object (a plant stand), but I love my elephants and he always seems to damage one (sigh). 

I took that as my cue to get away for a minute, so I showered, got dressed and headed out to do the shopping ... ALONE.  I took my sweet time, chatted with a few folks I didn't know, wandered down a few aisles I wouldn't normally get to see (picked up some delicious apple cider candles) and gazed at a lot of things I would love to see in the kitchen, bathrooms and bedrooms.  I wasn't even pissed with the woman ahead of me in the check-out line ... with TWO SHOPPING CARTS FULL OF GROCERIES.  She had quite the wine selection in her cart, almost made me want to follow her home.  We chatted about the nerve of people leaving cartons full of broken eggs in the dairy section and trying to find a good deal on holiday fixings.  She was quite pleasant and I enjoyed the chat.

It must have been the day for chatting, cause when I headed over to the gas station several people wanted to talk and then a gentleman smiled at me, you know, that kind of smile that says 'I know you'.  Well it turns out he remembered me from my radio days and said he used to listen to me all the time (I miss interacting with listeners).  We talked about our families, current happenings, radio and Mitch Malone (insert the sound of my heart breaking).  As I felt myself getting teary-eyed I ended the conversation, wished him a good day and waved goodbye.  Yes it was abrupt and he knew he'd hit a sensitive spot.

By the time I turned on some soothing music in the car I realized I wasn't so mad at my hubby anymore and I could head on home.  I called him to let him know I was going to make a Taco Bell run and then I'd be coming in ... Taco Bell ... mmmmmmmmm ... something about Taco Bell makes everything all better.  

As for my weigh-in, well ... I did it at home today and there was no change.  Next Saturday will be the test, that AFTER-THANKSGIVING WEIGH-IN.  

I Smile ...

As a part of my healthier journey I'm challenging myself to be more transparent.  Thank you Connie McGowan and the Precise Events crew!  I love this photo, because it expresses how I feel on the inside ... even on my worst days. 

Beauty starts from within; Love Yourself.

Living My New Normal-11.14.15 Week Two: Back On Track

11.07.15 Living My New Normal-Part II

11.05.15 - Sodium is no Joke

For the last two years my PCP has said 'watch your sodium intake'; I've even met people allergic to sodium (their words).  Well, of course you already know, when you think you're shopping healthy the stuff you're buying is loaded with SODIUM!! Talk about damned if you do, damned if you don't.

My chosen breakfast food this morning was a Morningstar Southwest Sunrise sandwich thingy and the sodium content in one of those little buggers is 660mg (mouth dropping to the floor).  That's a "meal" I had to savor, cause the average daily intake is 3400 milligrams and MY daily intake is 2300.

 

11.02.15 Make it Like it was ...

So it's Monday again :o(  
All I want at this point in my life is to enjoy my life.  

Choosing to live a healthier life becomes a real chore when all you really want to do is eat ice cream, cheesecake and Philly Cheese Steaks (not necessarily in that order).  I told hubby last week we would begin writing out meal plans this week and so far ... I have NOT written a plan for one-freaking-day.  There's a scripture that mentions 'even when I would do good/right' (Romans 7:21 So I find that, as a rule, when I want to do what is good, evil is right there with me.) and that's kind of how I feel right now.  I so wanted this to be more ... natural ... not forced ... not feeling like I'm on a diet.  I cannot seem to get my mind focused on discipline.  Now I'm just trying to be more creative and hoping hubby will join me in the change.  I have got to find that trigger <sigh>.

      

10.30.15 Just One of Those Days ....

Head is banging, but I'm up and waiting for the day to be over already.  Not feeling too good.

Had soup this morning and packed Water, Slimfast, grapes, pickles (???), an egg and a 'Kind' to take to work ... I never eat all the stuff he packs.  Feeling really yucky.

10.29.15 A Song for You ...

Is it just me or was 'Hump Day' one loooooonnnnnggggggg day?!?   And it didn't help that I had no real meal plan in place to get through the freaking day, so when I realized I hadn't gotten enough calories OR protein ... I panicked and tried to make up ... still remained under my caloric intake ... SMH.

New Day, New Attitude - Started my day with a little activity, some dairy and protein.  My lunch will have to be portable (this means Slimfast, grapes and an egg), cause hubby has an appointment at 1:30 in Richmond, so my trusty Kind bar will be in my purse in case of emergency along with my water. Dinner will be my Beef Merlot (insert a really big smile here).

One of the things I know we're supposed to do is attach our healthier lifestyle to a goal and I'm using Dec. 5th as mine.  That's the night I'll be singing with a band for a function being held by a motorcycle club.  I have been given several songs, four of which I have to learn cause I've always only known the 'hooks' (LOL!!).  Singing is something that always relaxes me and these songs are really nice (well one of them is kinda plucking my nerves, which makes it harder to learn ... but I'm getting there), so I'm enjoying the moment.

Time for me to get ready to get ready to get out of here, so I'll leave you with something my Pastor says: '... there should always be a song in your heart ...'.
Now get out there and make some music!!! ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

10.28.15 Hump Day

This morning did not start well ... head is banging, body is hurting and I didn't win the lottery ;o)
Had oatmeal w/cinnamon for breakfast and now I'm trying to figure out my other meals for the day.  I know I'm going to have Pepper Steak at some point, because I took it out of the freezer yesterday ... will add more onions (I love onions) and focus on drinking only water w/lemon today (swelling). Just a tad bit worn right now and don't have the energy or inclination to put much thought into my meals today.  

This week is really d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g ... need to increase my MUSIC intake to lift my spirits. 

Make it a great day; tell someone you love them and this time ... SAY IT WIT YO CHEST <in my Kevin Hart voice>!!   

10.27.15 - It's only Tuesday ...

Oh - My - Gracious!!!!!  It's only Tuesday and I feel like it should be Thursday (ugh).

Sometimes I can be kind of predictable in certain situations; I'm a 'tried and true' kind of person.  What does that mean?  Well, if I discover something that works I tend to make it my 'go-to' when I come across that situation again.  This can be a good or a not-so-good habit.  When it comes to my food choices it means I become stuck, no variety and that leads to boredom.  Soon ... I find myself not being thrilled with trying to 'change my lifestyle and making healthier choices' ... that's when the mindless snacking comes into the picture.

In a perfect world we would all be able to call our Personal Chef and our Personal Trainer, but the world is not that perfect (at least not mine), so we have to rely on self-discipline, commitment, being true to ourselves and loving ourselves enough to follow through on the promises we made to take care of our Temples (yes ... I like the word "Temple").

Focusing on my portions, sodium and not-so-good carbs.  That being said ... my day will start off with a big salad, coffee w/two hazelnut creamers, water w/lemon, a slimfast shake and I will skip the banana.  My Kind pumkiny-maplely-seedy thingy will be my crunchy snack; lunch will be my bbq on wheat with Lentil Snaps (Tomato Basil flavor) and dinner will be one of my Beef Merlot Healthy Choice Steamers (love them).  I'll be drinking more water w/lemon and a Raspberry Pure Leaf tea.  If I'm low on protein, I have my turkey breast (no bread) with cheese to serve as my bedtime Insulin snack.  

A little bit of predictable with a touch of variety (YAY ME!!!).

Thank you for this one Diane!!!

10.26.15 Preparation is the key ...

Okay, I need to plan my meals better.  In my mind I think I'm cutting back, but on paper ... the truth hurts.  My food diary from Sunday could have been so much better.  So let's see what we can do about Monday ...

I already know I have to eat BBQ for dinner (it's a microwave BBQ that will be on a wheat bun ... yes ... a wheat bun).  Why do I have to eat this for dinner?  Cause it's what we purchased during our last grocery trip and we don't have money to waste, so I'm spacing out my stuff until it's gone and trying to make it as healthy as possible.  The good news is I also picked up a lot of steamers, Morningstar and Boca products.  Making stuff from scratch is really not an option right now, as we both are having our challenges in the kitchen (sigh).

Breakfast will be a Slimfast Shake, water with lemon and a banana (Got up at 4a and decided to fix a big salad; I'm not really a fan of vinaigrette dressings however, I have discovered I can take my favorite dressing, cut it half with vinegar, drizzle a tbsp over the salad and get the same effect.  I know ... it's a mind thing, but hey ... I'm trying) 

This was quite tasty ;o)

Snack will be my favorite ... Kind Maple with Pumpkin Seeds-n-stuff (This snack won't get eaten before lunch, more likely it will be my crunch for later tonight).
Lunch will be turkey breast on white american cheese with mustard (see ... I'm leaving out the bread, cause of my dinner plans) and more water.

Smh ... Just Smh

Well ... gonna finish my big salad, read a few more words of meditation and get ready for work.  My real test will be to motor pass the Burger King and the Shell station without getting some form of ice cream ... sigh.

10.25.15 I See What You Did There ...

My Food Diary came in under my overall caloric intake for the day however, my choices could have been a tad bit better.  1st Sundays are always funky ... I eat a small snack with coffee before 8a service, have breakfast before 11a service and then eat 'dinner' between 2p and 4p.  End up drinking water and munching on salad or popcorn if I get hungry later.  So we know I definitely have to work on better meal planning for Sundays.

October 25, 2015

FOODS	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Cholest	Sodium	Sugars	Fiber
Breakfast
Donut Shop - Coffee K Cup, 1 cup	2	0g	0g	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g
Generic - Green Grape Seedless, 10 grape	30	9g	0g	0g	0mg	1mg	8g	0g
International Delight Coffee Creamer - Hazelnut, 3 tbsp	105	18g	5g	0g	0mg	0mg	18g	0g
Generic - Green Grape Seedless, 10 grape	30	9g	0g	0g	0mg	1mg	8g	0g
Mott's - 100% Apple Juice - Original, 1 Bottle (8oz)	120	29g	0g	0g	0mg	10mg	28g	0g
Smithfield Bacon - Bacon, 1 Strip	50	0g	4g	3g	10mg	180mg	0g	0g
Bob Evans - Link Sausage, 0.12 oz 3 Link	14	0g	1g	1g	3mg	32mg	0g	0g
Eggs - Scrambled (whole egg), 0.1 cup	37	0g	3g	2g	77mg	62mg	0g	0g
Home - Fried Potatoes / Onion, 0.2 Cup	60	8g	3g	1g	0mg	4mg	0g	1g
Lucky's - Fried Apples With Cinnamon, 0.15 cup	39	10g	0g	0g	0mg	0mg	9g	1g
Snacks
Good Humor - Giant Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich, 1 sandwich (100g)	250	37g	9g	3g	30mg	180mg	24g	1g
Lunch
bob evans - beef pattie, 1 pattie	510	0g	66g	31g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g
Nature's Own - Whole Wheat Bun, 1 Bun	130	24g	2g	6g	0mg	190mg	2g	4g
Great Value - Crinkle Cut Fries, 84 grams (15 fries)	120	20g	4g	2g	0mg	280mg	1g	2g
Wal-Mart Great Value - Single White American Cheese Slices, 1 slice - 16oz	60	2g	5g	3g	15mg	250mg	1g	0g
Snacks
Smartfood - Whie Cheddar Popcorn, 1 bag	120	11g	8g	2g	0mg	220mg	1g	2g
TOTAL:	1,677	177g	110g	54g	135mg	1,410mg	100g	11g

10.24.15 Let's begin the Beguine ...

Made it to my 'first' WW weigh-in (I'd been MIA since January of this year) and the woman had a very hard time concealing her surprise and whatever other emotions she was trying to hold (smh).  In the end, she gave me some encouraging words, a new book and a Welcome packet while saying 'We're just gonna start all over'.  Too amusing.

Once I got home and relived my experience with hubby, he said he would make an honest effort to do better and wanted me to keep him on track.  In the past this has always ended with him yelling at me about how grown he is and how he managed without me for blah-blah years.  I gave him 'the look' and he promised (again) he wouldn't blow-up this time (it's like touching the hot stove ... you know it's going to burn, but you keep on trying to see how much you can stand before you have to take your hand off).

I came back home checked my BS (230 - not good), took my Insulin and assorted pills, then ate a hearty breakfast of vegetable soup with turkey breast on 7 grain honey wheat (at least it sounds healthy), drank my first 3 glasses of water and prepared my snacks for today's adventures.  What adventure's you ask?  Well ... today we'll be going to St. Mary's for hubby to repeat tests they didn't complete a week ago.  This should keep us occupied for at least THREE HOURS not including wait times, so I'm packing for the long haul.  I'm even taking the tablet, so I can get a movie or show in while I wait.

Once we're done with that adventure the next one will be determining where HE will eat.  It has to be affordable and healthy ... cause we're broke, but we need to watch how we eat.  I'm really hoping he'll be so groggy and tired that we can ease on down the road without stopping until we reach home.

10.20.15 ... and the beat goes on

Discovered another flavor in my Snapea Crisps ... Onion Thyme - a nice smokey, savory taste :o)  Didn't go over my sodium level today, but messed around eating potato wedges and pickles (don't ask).  Almost messed up my dinner plans (spaghetti).  Fortunately I stayed under my caloric number and on my WW plan I was under my points.  Another day in the books, meds taken and off to bed I go!  Sleep tight everyone!

10.19.15 Here We Go Again ...

Started on Saturday with getting back on track and so far so good.  Tonight I enjoyed a Healthy Choice Steamer and I mean I really enjoyed it!  Going to focus on keeping my sodium below my daily number in the diary and cut back on breads (again).  Also became addicted to a new-to-me product called Harvest Snapea Crisps.  LOVE THEM!! Great substitute for chips. I plan to do my WW weigh-in on Saturday to really make my 'come-back' official. ;o)

 http://www.healthychoice.com/products/cafe-steamers/gluten-free-beef-merlot

 http://www.harvestsnaps.com/products/